Say what you want bout the “messiah-fication” of St O, but this guy has tried to take on everything in Q1.!  Some things of note:

• he used his black magic powers to make the euro’s gather and cheer rather than riot and burn effigies of him - fucking kenyan voodoo…
• his election and policies have inspired hilarious histrionics in the fox news set, culminating in tebagging going viral. (don’t tax me bro!)
• he has apparently forcibly squat-humped Glenn Beck - why else would anyone cry so much?
• he is going to start a commie wind-farm off the east coast to help the eco-nazi’s power their gay dildos
• racists are enraged that michelle is planting watermelon on the lawn - their sweaty nightmare of a blackocracy slowly coming true….
• things have truly gone shithouse economically and the dood is cool as a cucumber.  he makes me wanna invest in cool. is there a hedge fund for that?
• stopped the asinine raids of medical marijuana dispensaries in california - smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em cancer heads!
• made cheney breathe like darth vader in that fox interview (i thought the guy was gonna drop)
• left the door open for some enhanced interrogation of the bush “legal-beagle retard team” that was obsessed with constitutional destruction
• bitch slapped that CEO, and handed him some walking papes
• did you see when he totally got gay with hugo chavez and caused hannity’s gorilla forehead vein to throb to a T-Pain beat?
• can you imagine what the fuck will happen in the next 100 days when the re-education camps open and white women are enslaved…..

ahhhh, 100 days of non-retarded, hick-free, black-lovin’ rainin’ down on me…

boo-yaa….

ai, dios mio - we fucked up!!

Being a mex- i- “can” in california, there are some things I can attest to.

chile verde is great and carnitas (when done correctly) is fucking yummers.

i also think piglets rank fairly high on the ‘wouldn’t club with a hook’ list.

But I mean mexicans (as in people in mexico) , come on…. who actually knelt down and fucked a pig??

i don’t care what you try to call me (racist, fucktard, etc.) - everyone denied the monkey-boning AIDS story at the beginning as racist - but in the end (no pun intended) some horned out dude in africa fucked a monkey - and boom goes the dynamite.

trust me - i’ll be way out ahead on this one.

The LA times said that the swine flu virus had human/avian/swine elements in it.

My bet is that some sort of fiesta got way loco, and some vatito got the donkey, parrot, pinata and pig all fucked up in his cabesa, and thought “fuuuuuck this carnale” then someone tried to stop him and he yanked out a switchblade and said, “Aye vato, we’re pocos pero locos ese - dont mess with us”  next thing you know pig gets nailed with the mexican mallet.

and now i have to wear a gasmask to get the mail.

thanks, ese.

American Drug War: The Last White Hope

it is a dissection of the “war on drugs” from all angles.  the most disturbing being our government’s involvement on both sides of the issue. check it, cuz they wrecked it.

i don’t even know how to react except self-medicate…. as the credits rolled and i tried to piece together the sad state of affairs in our prisons, courts, and ghettos…they let you have a bit of a larf.  they play dj rx’s remash of whte lines starring G-dub.  if i’m late to the party on this one…just cheeeeel.

blood_falls

the earth is having a bit of a microbial hemorrhoidal attack as of late at the McMurdo dry valley in antarctica.  we have melted into the glacier enough that we have unearthed some “extremophile” microbes that have evolved the ability to eat iron and sulfur in the zillion years or so they have been chillin’ hardcore under ice…

read ’bout it at tehran times

so earth is having some gnar-gnar anal leakage of the fire and brimstone type.  it is literally seeping out stuff that has previously in our existence been about 1300 ft up its ass. (doesn’t extremophile sound like someone who has to whack it while bungee jumping?)

since we are talking mcmurdo - i highly recommend werner herzog’s movie : encounters at the end of the world.  he travels to the scientific encampents around mc murdo, and it’s not your average penguin movie.  tho there are some penguins in it.  mostly a study of the crazy place and the crazier people that choose to live there.  (looks more like a strip mine than the tents and flags i expected)…

so for the record - i don’t like melting and/or bleeding glaciers - don’t wanna argue ’bout it.  i like my glaciers fucking way glacial - like the kind that smash titanics - not ass bleed.

what, oh what have we done…..

this has got to be a sign of the apocalypse…..right?  what the fuck do these somali guys hope to do with random freighters after they take them over - drive them home and take the booty to the flea market?  damn, being poor sucks total ass.

btw, have you seen a freighter?  i’m assuming you have to let down a ladder or something - how could you hold off a speedboat full nutbags with guns? try not putting down the ladder and throwing rocks, or maybe food.  these guys are starving.  throw food.

and for that matter (food, that is) - why the fuck is Sir-Mix-A-Lot pimping SpongeBob SquarePants for Burger King to the tune of “Baby Got Back”?  I never thought i’d see those words in a sentence together, but that’s where we’re at.  Yes, indeed this is one of the great signs of the end times - Swass is dead.

Wait until this kid gets out of juvie, he’ll need some universal mental healthcare then.  Good on ya, parents of the year.  I’m sure the lord guided your hands whilst you did his work in photoshop!

I read a bunch of the after reports of the parties and took a look at some of the pictures that are on Huff Post and Wonkette.

ungh. soooo funny, and so sad.  the video clips are of the “muy excellente” quality - big shouts out!!!

Also some hilarious shit at Teablogging, and ShortsandPants also.

My absolute favorite is kevo-tron from shortsandpants - who went out drunk in Seattle to “infiltrate” the baggers with this sign:

not surprising that he was only able to snap a few pics before the “true-baggers” figured out they were double agents.

amen, finally ball humor is being appreciated again.  eventually all good things come back around!!

can’t wait for the conservative “dirty sanchez” protests this summer

boo-yaa

Of course, by now everybody knows that Lehman Bros (yep, that one), has shares in enough Uranium yellow-cake to make a nuke…….

bloomberg on the hella moist yella

I’m blown away by the fact that this is a part of a “commodities strategy”. whaaaaaaaa?!? Didn’t we recently invade a country because some dude told some other dude that maybe some guy in Iraq talked to another dude about possibly smelling a sample of his cake??

our economy is shady as shit.

drop your figurative “coin purse” down america’s gullet.

I have total mixed emotions - I love it when people rise up in any way.

That being said, it does seem like a Republican/conservative bitchfest with no real agenda except not paying any more money for anything.  Supposedly no central organization except the good old internets.  I have tuned in to FOX NEWS - as they seem to be on a 24 hr coverage-fest of the parties.

Apparently, they have been hyping them non-stop for the last 3 weeks.

I have to say that the comments from my local tea-party (Sac, CA) have been borderline retarded.

Complaining about the DMV tax, gas prices, government handouts, health care….

These people are the suburbs personified - no long term outlook - upset about filling up their SUV’s

The comments smacked of presedential election - sour grapes.  They are blaming Obama for TARP and the auto bailout, when all of those things happened under Gdub.

One lady was upset that the mega mall in Folsom seemed to be stalled in construction, and that was a big problem……….uh, oh.

I feel like as a culture we are in deep shit as it seems like nobody wants to give up anything, and feels entitled to everything.  We are angry about 50:1 leverage and a puffed up stock market - but no one wants to change anything, or stop living like oil-soaked orgiasts…

wonder when the tea-bags will be traded for fire-brands and pitchforks, all old-skool.

I elect to shit…stay tuned.

things have so gone shithouse, and i’m going to whine about it